Earlier this year I met someone. We had a date and saw each other a couple of times but things never really got moving. I was truly blessed to be told why the situation never really even started, let alone took off… So many times, even in a long-term relationship people never find out why things really come to an end and that nibbles and gnaws at our insecurities – if only we had a reason it would make more sense and we believe we could accept this rejection so much more easily.
Is it actually one of the ways we allow ourselves to remain in pain longer than we need to? Why do we torment ourselves or dare I say it torture ourselves with this incessant dwelling on what did or didn’t happen; what we could have done differently if only we had known, or understood better or… whatever the set of individual circumstances.
Emotional pain is good. It is part of the experience called being human. Embrace it. Allow it to show you things about yourself that you didn’t know. Let it be your teacher on the path of relationships. After all, it shows you are alive and are capable of experiencing a wide gamut of human emotions. Let it teach you. Let it guide you so that you truly can be wiser and stronger as you journey forward on your own individual path. See emotion and feelings as signposts, experiences to be welcomed.
When we stop resisting and allow ourselves to embrace what is, that is often the point that allows things to move on. By learning to accept we create space – in this particular example emotional space – for things to start moving forward again.
So one of the keys to becoming mentally and emotionally stronger is to allow yourself to enjoy the ride. To literally look for the learning, through and in spite of the pain that you are feeling, so that you can experience more of you. After all that’s what relationships really do – they hold up a mirror for us to see who we are and who we are not. And yes, don’t get wrong, I know sometimes it hurts (a lot) and it can be really scary – yet it also teaches you valuable lessons – providing you are open and you allow the experience to.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all bring more of ourselves to each new relationship we entered in to – realising that that is really their purpose. In the infamous line from the film Avatar – “I see you.”